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Kane County divorce attorneysWhen one thinks of the word affair, the image that most often comes to mind is that of a married person sneaking off to meet their secret lover in a hotel room. However, affairs do not always involve men or women being sexually active with their new partner or even physically interacting with them. In fact, some of the most damaging affairs are those which involve a partner having intense emotional attachment to a person other than their spouse – even if the affair never goes beyond phone calls, texts, or nonsexual interactions.

Is Your Spouse Engaged in an Emotional Affair?

Of course, every married person should have friends outside of their marriage. Having friends allows us to expand our circle of influence, meet new and interesting people, and have support when life gets challenging. However, there are times when an innocent friendship can morph into an emotional affair. Instead of being a healthy, beneficial relationship, the situation is changed into one which can be devastating to a marriage.

Geneva family law attorneyIt seems that adultery is all around us. Movies and TV shows, celebrities, professional athletes, and politicians are constantly reminding us that cheating is a serious problem in American marriages. It is estimated that 30 to 60 percent of married people will have an extramarital affair at least once in the course of a marriage. The pain and heartache that comes from finding out that your spouse has been unfaithful to you can often be the beginning of the end of your marriage, and pave the way for a divorce.

 The Age of the Internet Has Made Cheating Easier Than Ever

Sixty years ago, when Alfred Kinsey conducted his ground-breaking study on American’s relationships and sex lives, the definition of cheating was much clearer than it is today. Interactive websites where individuals can chat with others protected by distance and anonymity has blurred the line as to what counts as cheating.  Does casually flirting through text messages or in a chat room count?  Does sharing explicit pictures or videos but not meeting in real life constitute an affair?

Posted on in Divorce

Ashley Madison, infidelity, Kane County Divorce LawyerMost would agree that a successful marriage is based on trust and communication. Each of those two elements, however, are dependent upon the other. You cannot trust your spouse if he or she will not talk to you, and effective communication is impossible if you cannot trust each other. When one aspect is suddenly thrown into question, the other ultimately suffers. For millions of American couples, that is exactly what happened several weeks ago when hackers publicly exposed the subscriber list of the affair-seeking website Ashley Madison. The issue before them now, however, is whether or not it is time think about divorce.

Take Your Time

When the subscriber data was made public, many raced to the internet to see if their spouse—husband, in most cases—was on the list. An estimated 20 million men had an account of some sort on Ashley Madison, or roughly one in six married American men. If one of those men is you or your husband, it is time for some serious soul-searching. Tempting as it may be, a rushed decision is not recommended.

Posted on in Divorce

consider divorce, reasons for divorce, Kane County Family Law AttorneyOne of the hardest decisions a person can make it is to end their marriage. For many people, it may take years to finally come to the decision that their marriage is broken and cannot be repaired. Even after making that decision, a person may still struggle with it, wondering whether or not they are doing the right thing.

It can be even more difficult to move forward and file for divorce when there are children involved. A person who is already struggling with conflicting emotions, including guilt and feeling as if they failed at marriage, can find those emotions amplified over the perceived harm they may be doing to their children by divorcing the other parent.

So how does a person know if their marriage is truly over and it is time to walk away?

Posted on in Divorce

Cheating, Geneva Family Law Attorney, Divorce, GeneticsEveryone has made choices in their lives that they regret. For some, the regrettable decisions include cheating on their partner or spouse despite their love and marital commitment. While infidelity is often cited as one of the most common reasons for divorce, experts offer a wide variety of explanations regarding the motivation behind it.

Married individuals who have been unfaithful usually claim to do so because they are seeking something they feel is missing in their relationships. Whether physical intimacy, an emotional connection, or love that seemed to be absent, most extramarital affairs can be traced to a need that felt unaddressed. However, a surprising number of infidelities occur simply because a married person got curious or bored.

Studies which look at the reasons for infidelity are certainly interesting, but they do not really address the question of what makes a person give in to the temptation to cheat. Every day, adults are faced with impulses toward negative behavior that do not cause them to engage in the action. For example, a stressful day at work or a nagging boss may lead an employee to want to throw his coffee cup at the wall and walk out. Most adults, though, are able to control such impulses based on the realization that such behavior is inappropriate. Similarly, most adults are confronted with the urge to be unfaithful as well, and a large number will never actually do so as they realize the implications of such an action.

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