A New Concept for Children of Divorce
When parents divorce, they usually both own their own home and the kids are shuffled back and forth between the two, depending on the parents' custody rights. But recently, some parents are having to come to the children, instead of moving the children around. The children stay at the house that they were in before the divorce, and then the parents switch off coming to them. Parents who do not want to interrupt their children’s everyday lives are trying out this new concept.
One family's situation was set up so that one spouse would live in the house for a week and the other one would go to a motel or another place to stay, according to the Chicago Tribune. The family has been living like this for about 7 months and says that it is very difficult but that they would like to continue it until their son goes to college.
This form of custody has a term called, “birdnesting,” because the kids stay in the nest while the parents come and go from it. Just like a bird would do. Although birdnesting is not an entirely new concept, it is becoming more practiced by parents in recent years. Many divorce attorneys are seeing it become more popular. Some courts will even suggest it, if the parents are having custody battles. In some cases, the whole family stays in the house but the parents reside in separate bedrooms.
Parents who practice this are becoming more friendly and cooperative towards each other post-divorce. However, a lot of times birdnesting does not work long-term, according to studies. The parents are not allowed their own lives, even if you can afford three separate places. If one parent begins to bring dates back to the common turf, it could lead to trouble. But in some cases it does work out, depending on the relationship the person has with their ex. “It is all about taking a walk in your children shoes”, says Joseph S. Mattina. Then you can decide what is best for you and your family.
If you or anyone you know is thinking about divorce whether you have children or not, be sure to contact an Illinois Divorce Attorney. Call 630-232-9700 to talk to a Kane County Divorce Lawyer today.