Emotional Affairs Are Often the First Sign a Marriage Might Not Last

Posted on in Divorce

Kane County divorce attorneysWhen one thinks of the word affair, the image that most often comes to mind is that of a married person sneaking off to meet their secret lover in a hotel room. However, affairs do not always involve men or women being sexually active with their new partner or even physically interacting with them. In fact, some of the most damaging affairs are those which involve a partner having intense emotional attachment to a person other than their spouse – even if the affair never goes beyond phone calls, texts, or nonsexual interactions.

Is Your Spouse Engaged in an Emotional Affair?

Of course, every married person should have friends outside of their marriage. Having friends allows us to expand our circle of influence, meet new and interesting people, and have support when life gets challenging. However, there are times when an innocent friendship can morph into an emotional affair. Instead of being a healthy, beneficial relationship, the situation is changed into one which can be devastating to a marriage.

One of the main differences between a friendship and a romantic relationship is sexual chemistry. A person engaged in an emotional affair may never actually physically contact the other person, but they may fantasize about him or her or have sexually-charged conversations with them. Affairs, both in the traditional sense as well as emotional affairs, have one major thing in common: secrecy. When someone begins to hide elements of a relationship from their spouse, this is a red flag that they may be having an affair.

Emotional Betrayal Can Be Devastating

Often the most damaging part of an emotional affair is the betrayal that the spouse being cheated on feels. A person in an emotional affair will tell deeply personal information to the new individual – even sharing information about their spouse which was intended to be kept private. People who are having an emotional affair will often complain about their spouse to their new quasi-lover which builds more and more resentment toward their spouse. The affair takes up time and energy which would have otherwise been spent on the marriage, resulting in a marriage relationship which becomes less and less sustainable.

Illinois is a No Fault State

Before 2016, adultery remained one of the grounds for divorce in Illinois. However, after Illinois became a pure “no fault” state, instances of cheating or affairs of any kind are not taken into consideration with regard to property distribution, spousal maintenance or alimony, or child support. If you suspect your spouse of infidelity, you will not be required to prove it to seek a divorce in Illinois.

Let Us Help

If you have further questions about the divorce process in Illinois, an experienced Geneva family law attorney can help. Call 630-232-9700 for a confidential consultation at The Law Offices of Douglas B. Warlick & Associates to get the guidance you need.



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