Forget About Winning Your Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Kane County divorce lawyerAre you considering a divorce? Has your spouse made you so angry that you cannot wait to take him or her to court and prove that you have been wronged? Such emotions are understandable when you are in the midst of a volatile break-up with your spouse. It is very important to keep in mind, however, that the divorce process can provide only so much consolation. There really are no winners in a divorce proceeding, but when the situation spirals out of control, it can be easy to feel that everyone has lost.

Maintaining Perspective

In many cases, divorce may bring out a person’s competitive nature. A spouse may want to “win,” even if he or she has no real concept of what “winning” would look like. Is it winning if you get slightly more than half of the marital property? Will you be unhappy with anything less than sole custody (now called parental responsibilities) of your children? And, what if you do “win?” Then what happens? Chances are, feeling like you got the better end of your divorce settlement is not likely to last very long. You must still move forward with your life no matter what the outcome of your divorce may have been.

If You Win…

…then your spouse must lose, right? At one point, you loved your spouse enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him or her. If your need to win includes a desire to make things more difficult for your spouse, you may want to step back and objectively consider the situation. This person was, at one time, the love of your life, and, depending on the situation, your children’s other parent. If you have children together, any inconvenience or difficulties your spouse experiences are likely going to affect your children as well, meaning that they must share in your spouse’s “loss.”

Consider Mediation

Even if you think there is no way that you and your spouse could ever reach a reasonable agreement, you may still wish to think about pursuing mediation. In mediation, you and your spouse will meet with a neutral, third-party mediator who will help facilitate constructive discussion between you. A mediator is trained to work with you to find common ground and to chip away at your differences until a workable divorce settlement is reached. If mediation fails, however, you can always continue along your path toward the courtroom.

We Can Help

The divorce process can be long and difficult, especially without the proper guidance. Contact an experienced Kane County divorce attorney to get the help you need with your case. Call 630-232-9700 for a confidential consultation today.



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