How to Keep Your Divorce Amicable
Going through a divorce is one of the most stressful things a couple can endure. Sometimes, one of the spouses wants the separation but the other does not. Other times, divorce comes after one of the partners has had an affair or done something else tremendously hurtful to their partner. Even marriages that end as a result of a mutual decision can lead to conflict during the divorce process.
There is no way around some of the disputes that accompany ending a marriage. After all, two people who planned to be together forever are making a decision to separate their entire lives. It is understandable that those who divorce will feel anger, resentment, confusion, or uncertainty towards their partner at some point. The key to an amicable divorce is to minimize acting out on those negative feelings and to work together toward the goal of ending the marriage cordially.
Change Your Perception in Order to Feel Better
Although around 40-50 percent of marriages end in divorce, there is still a needless stigma attached to getting divorced. If you announce your plans for divorce, some people in your life may be disappointed in your decision or try to tell you what to do. Keep healthy boundaries with these people and do not allow them to drag you into their negativity. Another helpful tip is to mentally rephrase how you think about the divorce. Instead of thinking about it in terms of blame, think about the circumstances, stresses, and life challenges which led to the divorce. For example, instead of thinking “I hate my ex-husband for ruining this marriage by cheating,” think “Differences in our goals and values have led to the decision that we should no longer be married.” There is no sense dwelling on the past. Instead, work toward the future.
Keep Drama Away from the Kids
If you have children with your ex, you are probably going to have to interact with him or her throughout your life. It is vitally important that children are not put in between their feuding parents. Plentiful research shows that being made to play mediator is destructive to children’s mental health. Instead, focus on communicating with your ex on an “as needed” basis. Stick to reporting the facts and never dredge up the past. For example, if you need to let your ex know that your child has practice until 6pm, simply text or call with that information. Resist the temptation to bring up topics which are not related to the children.
If you are ready to start the divorce process, the Geneva family law attorneys at The Law Offices of Douglas B. Warlick & Associates are prepared to help. We will work with you in exploring your options for obtaining an amicable divorce if at all possible. For a confidential consultation, call 630-232-9700 today.