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Thousands of kids will experience the stress of finding out that their parents are divorcing. The age of the child is just one of the factors that will dictate how they will process the news and how they will react. They will also be seriously affected by the circumstances of the divorce. Your children are going to need your guidance while coping with this. In addition to hiring a competent Illinois divorce lawyer, here are a few things that you can help them cope.

Theresa   Illinois divorce lawyerBe a Good Example

A part of helping your child cope is displaying healthy coping skills. Do not engage in arguments with your spouse while the children are around. There will be plenty to discuss however, you have to be careful of how you do it. Do not talk about the legal issues such as why you are getting the divorce, financial matters, or custody while in the presence of the child. Your child may hear just part of the conversation and they will feel even worse if it sounds like you are fighting over the child.

Posted on in Divorce

TheresaMany recent divorcees, both men and women, report that they feel alone when they get a divorce. Of course, now that the spouse is gone, there is a lack of companionship. There is also another part of the isolation. Many divorced people report that they lose approximately 40 percent of their friends. What causes this phenomenon when it would be apparent that this is the time that you would need your friends the most?

The Stigma

A survey that was conducted showed that there is a stigma among young adults when it comes to divorce. This study showed that women who were divorced multiple times were thought to be immoral and even deviant. Studies show that this stigma does not really affect men. It seems that male divorcees are much more accepted.

The process of going through a divorce is emotionally and financially stressful. Divorce can become even more stressful when children are involved. Children need to feel loved and secure, and the best way to ensure that children's needs are met is to learn how to co-parent efficiently.

Lara  Kane County Divorce AttorneyThe easiest way to begin making decisions with your ex that will benefit your children is to look at your relationship as a completely new one. This new relationship is not about the two of you, but rather it is about your children. In order to be a successful co-parent, you must always put your children ahead of yourself. You may no longer be a husband or a wife, but you are still a father or a mother.

In order to focus solely on your children, you must put all of your own emotions aside, which can be very difficult. This is both the most important and the most difficult part of working together with your ex. Your child’s happiness, stability, and future well-being are all more important than your current anger or hurt.

Posted on in Divorce

The Huffington Post has recently reported that a Norwegian study has found that there is a relationship between sharing household duties with your spouse and divorce. According to the study, the divorce rate amongst couples who do housework together was approximately 50 percent higher than those in which the wife is solely in charge of household chores.

Lara   Kane County family law attorneyHowever, this finding doesn’t mean that the husband should not be responsible for anything when it comes to housework. The increased rate is presumably related more to “modern” values and attitudes and less to a cause-and-effect relationship. In this modern view, marriage is seen as less sacred than it was in the past.

According to Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study “Equality in the Home,” when couples share household chores “women also have a higher level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially. They can manage easier if they divorce.

Posted on in Child Custody and Support

Adoption is a wonderful thing that brings people together as a family. From infant to teenager, families increase in love and support through adoption. Some children, however, have special needs and/or circumstances that make the adoption more difficult. There are children who are legally under the protection of a part of the government (DCFS), known as wards, and some that are not. Ward children may get some sort of subsidy because of their needs.

3-28 CHThere are five ways a child can qualify for an adoption subsidy if they are not under the control of DCFS.

  1. A child may qualify if they were determined to be qualified for Social Security Supplemental Security Income (SSI) prior to their adoption. These children do not need to be adopted through a non-profit adoption agency.
  2. Children whose adoptive parents receive subsidies remain eligible even if they are adopted again, if, for example, the adoptive parents pass away and another family member adopts the child.
  3. Children whose adoptive parents receive subsidies and give up their parental rights are also still eligible.
  4. If a child is voluntarily given up to a non-profit adoption agency and the following requirements are met, they can be eligible: 1) The child is given up, 2) There is a petition to the court requesting the child is removed from the home within six months, and 3) It is determined that remaining in the home would not have been in the child's best interest.
  5. If a minor child who is a ward of DCFS has a baby who meets the special needs criteria, and the minor parent voluntarily gives the child to a non-profit adoption agency, the baby is subsidy eligible

If you are considering adoption, consider special needs adoption. Many children are put into foster care waiting for a permanent home. Children who are waiting vary in abilities and history. Working with a private adoption agency or Illinois’ Department of Child and Family Services can get you on the right path to being a parent to a child in need whom you can love and take care of.

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