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Kane County family law attorneyIt is nearly impossible to know for certain what percentage of married individuals have cheated on their spouses. There are several reasons for this. First, many people may be hesitant to admit instances of infidelity, even in an anonymous survey or study. Next, and perhaps more importantly, cheating can be defined differently from one relationship to another. Regardless of large-scale numbers, if your spouse has engaged in actions that you define as cheating, you may be at a loss regarding what to do next. Many couples never fully recovery from infidelity, and cheating is a contributing factor in a large number of divorces.

Not Grounds for Divorce

When you have been cheated on, it is understandable for you to feel betrayed and ready to end your relationship. In Illinois, however, adultery is no longer an available grounds for divorce. Since 2016, every divorce in the state is granted on the basis that irreconcilable differences have caused an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage. By definition, all Illinois divorces are considered to be no-fault, which means the court has no interest in assigning blame to one spouse or the other for the breakdown.

Geneva family law attorneyIt seems that adultery is all around us. Movies and TV shows, celebrities, professional athletes, and politicians are constantly reminding us that cheating is a serious problem in American marriages. It is estimated that 30 to 60 percent of married people will have an extramarital affair at least once in the course of a marriage. The pain and heartache that comes from finding out that your spouse has been unfaithful to you can often be the beginning of the end of your marriage, and pave the way for a divorce.

 The Age of the Internet Has Made Cheating Easier Than Ever

Sixty years ago, when Alfred Kinsey conducted his ground-breaking study on American’s relationships and sex lives, the definition of cheating was much clearer than it is today. Interactive websites where individuals can chat with others protected by distance and anonymity has blurred the line as to what counts as cheating.  Does casually flirting through text messages or in a chat room count?  Does sharing explicit pictures or videos but not meeting in real life constitute an affair?

Posted on in Divorce

Ashley Madison, infidelity, Kane County Divorce LawyerMost would agree that a successful marriage is based on trust and communication. Each of those two elements, however, are dependent upon the other. You cannot trust your spouse if he or she will not talk to you, and effective communication is impossible if you cannot trust each other. When one aspect is suddenly thrown into question, the other ultimately suffers. For millions of American couples, that is exactly what happened several weeks ago when hackers publicly exposed the subscriber list of the affair-seeking website Ashley Madison. The issue before them now, however, is whether or not it is time think about divorce.

Take Your Time

When the subscriber data was made public, many raced to the internet to see if their spouse—husband, in most cases—was on the list. An estimated 20 million men had an account of some sort on Ashley Madison, or roughly one in six married American men. If one of those men is you or your husband, it is time for some serious soul-searching. Tempting as it may be, a rushed decision is not recommended.

Posted on in Divorce

Cheating, Geneva Family Law Attorney, Divorce, GeneticsEveryone has made choices in their lives that they regret. For some, the regrettable decisions include cheating on their partner or spouse despite their love and marital commitment. While infidelity is often cited as one of the most common reasons for divorce, experts offer a wide variety of explanations regarding the motivation behind it.

Married individuals who have been unfaithful usually claim to do so because they are seeking something they feel is missing in their relationships. Whether physical intimacy, an emotional connection, or love that seemed to be absent, most extramarital affairs can be traced to a need that felt unaddressed. However, a surprising number of infidelities occur simply because a married person got curious or bored.

Studies which look at the reasons for infidelity are certainly interesting, but they do not really address the question of what makes a person give in to the temptation to cheat. Every day, adults are faced with impulses toward negative behavior that do not cause them to engage in the action. For example, a stressful day at work or a nagging boss may lead an employee to want to throw his coffee cup at the wall and walk out. Most adults, though, are able to control such impulses based on the realization that such behavior is inappropriate. Similarly, most adults are confronted with the urge to be unfaithful as well, and a large number will never actually do so as they realize the implications of such an action.

Posted on in Family Law

Research from the U.K. recently found that “warring couples are only half as likely to cite adultery as the cause of marriage breakdown than they were 40 years ago,” according to The Guardian. Bad behavior, especially that which is considered unreasonable, was the leading reason for divorce—47 percent of people surveyed in the recent study. In the 1970s, what was considered unreasonable behavior accounted for only 28 percent of all divorces. “Examples of unreasonable behavior,” according to The Guardian, “include an unsociable husband making his wife feel guilty when she wanted to go out with her friends; a cross-dressing husband who decided to have a sex change; and a spouse withdrawing all the family savings.” Cheaters More Likely to Forgive Cheaters

Despite this, infidelity is still a major factor in the ever-increasing divorce rate, on both sides of the Atlantic. According to, 53 percent of all marriages in America end in divorce. More than 40 percent of married people surveyed “admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional,” according to More men admit to infidelity than women, but not by much—57 percent of men vs. 54 percent of women.

All this research may illuminate how much cheating is going on in American marriages, but not the type of people for whom infidelity leads to divorce. New research published in the Journal of Sexuality and Culture and as reported by the Huffington Post, has found that cheaters are more likely to forgive infidelity than non-cheaters. “Men with cheating experience were most accepting / forgiving of the male cheating characters and women with cheating experience were most accepting / forgiving of the female cheating character,” the authors wrote. If your spouse automatically forgives you for cheating, that is, it could be because he or she has cheated in the past.

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