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Kane County divorce attorney for parental alienationThe decision to end a marriage can be difficult for many reasons. In many cases, spouses may be unhappy for a long time but hesitant to end the relationship if they have a family. Studies show that the stress of a divorce can significantly impact a couple’s children. This can manifest itself in various ways, such as manipulative behavior by one or both parents. The concept of parental alienation syndrome (PAS) was first introduced by psychiatrist Richard Gardner in the 1980s. This typically occurs during or after a divorce when one parent psychologically manipulates a child into exhibiting unwarranted fear, disrespect, or hostility toward the other parent. In some cases, the manipulative parent’s ultimate goal is that the child will reject the other parent and want nothing to do with him or her. After your divorce, it is important to recognize signals that indicate PAS might be occurring to protect your child’s well-being as well as your rights to custody and parenting time.

Symptoms of Psychological Abuse

It may be natural for a child to exhibit some hostility or sadness when his or her parents split up, regardless of the child’s age. However, parental alienation is a form of emotional abuse that can have devastating effects on a child as well as the parent who is being alienated. Some of the signs and symptoms that a child may be subjected to this include the following behaviors: 

  • Poor self-esteem
  • Angry outbursts toward the targeted parent and other family members
  • Inconsistent sleep patterns 
  • Eating disorders
  • Problems in school (academic or behavioral)

Manipulative Behaviors 

When a parent is actively trying to make his or her child “take sides” in a divorce, he or she may do certain things to accomplish this objective. Below are a few examples of what a parent might do to instill negative thoughts or feelings about his or her ex in a child’s mind:

Geneva child relocation lawyerThere is no question that after a divorce, the lives of the spouses and their children will change significantly. Additional changes may occur in the years to come, and there may be a time when one parent decides to move to a new location that is a significant distance away from the other parent. However, there are restrictions on how a custodial parent may proceed in cases involving parental relocation, and the well-being of a child and the rights of the other parent must be protected. 

Illinois Parental Relocation Laws

While Illinois law no longer uses the term “custody,” the parent with the majority of the parenting time is often referred to as the custodial parent. If this parent decides to move to a new home, may need to seek the approval of the court, and the other parent may argue against the move if it affects their parenting time with a child. 

A parent living in Kane County can only move up to 25 miles from the current living situation without approval from the court. The same goes for Cook, Lake, Dupage, Will, and McHenry Counties. For all other counties in Illinois, a parent may move up to 50 miles away within the state. Interstate moves require approval if they are more than 25 miles from the current home. 

Kane County divorce attorneyMarriage is a bond that unites two people. However, even though a couple’s marriage vows say that they will stay together “in sickness and in health,” sometimes a marriage does not last, and divorce becomes necessary. Some cultures and religions look down on getting a divorce, and parents may think that it is better to say married for their children, but a divorce is often the best decision for the two parties, and living in an unhappy home can cause more harm to children than separated parents.

During the colonial days of the United States, one of the earliest examples of divorce could be seen in Massachusetts. In 1629, a judicial council was developed there to grant divorces on the grounds of instances such as of bigamy, adultery, or desertion. Today, an affair is still a common reason for a couple to get a divorce, but there are a wide variety of other circumstances in which a couple may decide to separate, including:

  • Different Life Goals - It is easy to think that life will proceed the way you expect after getting married. The truth is, some people get married without discussing their future together. If one spouse wants to travel the globe while the other wants to settle down and start a family, it will be difficult for them to see eye to eye down the road, and they may not wish to stay together. Some people also think that they will be able to change their spouse’s habits or negative qualities. When this effort turns out to be fruitless, it may be time to consider divorce.
  • Wrong Reasons - It is true that some people marry for money, and these types of marriages often end in divorce. Another wrong reason a person may get married is because they feel like they have to. If someone is in a relationship for a long time and feels pressured to take the next step, or if a couple chooses to get married before they are ready for this commitment, these marriages are usually not built to last.
  • No Romance - A relationship may have started out full of fire and passion, but after years of being together, the romance and effort may have died, and neither partner is likely to be happy. A healthy relationship maintains an equilibrium in which both partners are satisfied. Every couple has a different love language, but if partners are not taking time for each other or are avoiding each other’s company, there may be no love left to share, and divorce may be the best option. 

Contact a Kane County Divorce Attorney

No matter the reason for your divorce, you deserve to take steps that will lead you towards a happier life. To ensure that you can reach a positive outcome to your divorce, contact an experienced Geneva divorce attorney to work out issues such as the division of assets and parental responsibilities. Call our office today at 630-232-9700 to schedule a consultation.  

Kane County divorce lawyersLegendary musician and songwriter Slash can finally enjoy some closure after a long divorce process. Unfortunately, it is at the cost of over $6 million. The rock star agreed to pay his former wife Perla Ferrar a $6,627,352 equalization payment. Additionally, he will pay $100,000 in spousal support and $39,000 in child support each month. The artist, whose real name is Saul Hudson, will also help support his children by contributing 1.8 percent of his income to the 16- and 14-year-olds. Hudson will keep ownership of his $1.92 million guitar collection.

A Long Journey to End a 13-Year Marriage

The decision for Hudson and Ferrar to split was not a recent one. The couple struggled with marital conflict for years. In 2010, Hudson filed for divorce and intended to leave Ferrar. The couple was able to reach a reconciliation two months later. Four years later in 2014, he filed for divorce again. This separation did end up being permanent. Hudson rekindled a relationship with an ex-girlfriend and moved in with her, signaling that the marriage was beyond reconciliation this time. However, it would be another four years until the marriage legally ended.

Accusations of Bigamy

Hudson accused Ferrar of bigamy because of issues related to her 1993 marriage to Carlos Marty. The rocker alleges that improper filing of divorce documents meant that Ferrar was still married when she married him. Hudson hoped that the error would mean that Ferrar did not have any legal right to his extravagant wealth and assets. However, because of complicated laws regarding putative marriages, or marriages considered legally invalid only due to a technical impediment, Ferrar was still awarded the multi-million dollar divorce settlement.

Kane County divorce attorneysIf you are a parent who has decided to get a divorce, you may have spent countless hours worrying about how to tell the children about the split. There are many things to keep in mind when choosing how and when to tell your children about the end of your marriage. Every parent facing this difficult conversation hopes that it will go as smoothly as possible. Understandably, many children are upset when they hear about the forthcoming separation, but research shows that there are several steps parents can take to minimize the distraught caused by breaking the news of divorce to their kids.

Do Not Tell Children About the Divorce Until You Are Totally Certain

If you and your spouse have discussed the possibility of separating, but there is still a chance that you will stay together, you should wait to discuss this with children. For example, if a couple is experiencing extreme conflict or disconnectedness, but they both believe that there is still a possibility of saving the marriage, they should not bring the children into the situation. If you and your spouse both agree that you are beyond the point of reconciliation, you may be ready to tell your children about the separation.

Break the News With Your Spouse

One way parents can help comfort children and reduce the trauma caused by the news of divorce is by delivering the news as a team. If possible, most experts suggest that parents should be together when they tell the children about their plans to separate. Sitting with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse while explaining the situation to the children helps assure the children that although their parents are divorcing each other, the parent-child relationship remains intact.

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