Domestic violence is shockingly common in the United States. Although many experiencing the torture of familial abuse do not show it on the outside, they are secretly suffering. If you have decided to end your marriage due to your spouse’s abusive or intimidating behavior, first take a moment to congratulate yourself. You have started a journey that will certainly be challenging, but will ultimately lead to greater safety for you and your family. Leaving an abusive spouse may feel overwhelming, but keep in mind that you do not have to do it alone.

The Worst Thing You Can Do Is Stay Silent

One of the most difficult things about leaving an abusive partner is actually acknowledging the abuse. Many people feel ashamed to admit that they need help leaving a violent spouse—even though the shame should be felt by the abuser. Those affected by domestic violence sometimes still love and care for their abuser and therefore delay involving authorities because they worry about how it will hurt the abuser or his or her career. Other victims of domestic violence simply do not understand that there are avenues to safety which they can take even with no actual evidence of the abuse.

Because divorce is now quite common, many people incorrectly assume that getting divorced is “no big deal.” They may see friends and family go through divorces with smiling faces and assume that the ordeal was not emotionally traumatic. However, the reality is that many people are experts at hiding their pain, and even the most amiable divorce is an emotional burden to those going through it. If you are considering divorce or have already filed, you should know that there are some proven ways to help ease the subsequent emotional pain.

Tip #1: Resist the Urge to Isolate

The end of a marriage is a deeply personal affair. Some individuals getting divorced may be tempted to isolate themselves from friends and family because they are ashamed or simply do not know what to say about the separation. If you are getting divorced, you should know that spending time with others has been shown to aide in the healing process. Whether it is a trip to the movie theater, a vacation, or simply grabbing a quick coffee, getting out of the house and socializing will dramatically help you cope with the pain caused by divorce.

Dissipation of assets refers to instances when a spouse who is either in the process of getting divorced or will soon divorce, purposely wastes marital assets. If you are getting divorced and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse has wasted marital assets through reckless spending, gambling, drug use, or through other means, you should know that there is a legal process for recovering these funds. Read on to learn the specific criteria which must be met in order to claim dissipation, as well as learn how you can reclaim the money that was wasted.

Dissipation in Illinois Defined

Not just any type of spending is considered dissipation. The spending must happen during a specific time and meet other criteria in order to be considered dissipative. The Illinois Supreme Court provides the legal definition of dissipation. In Illinois, dissipation is the “use of marital property for the sole benefit of one of the spouses for a purpose unrelated to the marriage at a time that the marriage is undergoing an irreconcilable breakdown.”

When it comes to the idea of a “separated” couple, there are two generally accepted definitions. The first is the one which you are probably most familiar: a couple who is unsure whether they should remain married or who has decided to pursue a divorce may describe themselves as separated because they are not currently living together.

The second definition is more formal and much less common, and it refers to a couple who has gone through the formalities of obtaining a judgment of legal separation. Under Illinois law, neither type of separation is a prerequisite for divorce, but a legal separation could be beneficial in certain situations.

An Important Date

When a couple finally decides their marriage is beyond saving, one major concern most people have is how and when they should tell their loved ones. Individuals headed for divorce may feel ashamed that their marriage has failed or worried about how others will react to the news. While there is no perfect way to tell others that your marriage is ending, experts do have some advice to make the conversation go as smoothly as possible.

You Have the Power to Decide How Much Information to Divulge

Divorces can be full of deeply personal issues. If you are considering divorce or have already decided to end your marriage through divorce, you may feel pressured to explain yourself or your decision to others. However, the simple fact is that your divorce is no one’s business except your own. You are not required to tell friends or relatives any more than you feel comfortable telling. If nosey loved ones ask questions you are not ready to answer, politely tell them that you would prefer to keep certain information private.