Recent Blog Posts
Back to School Tips for Divorced Parents
Posted on August 31, 2016 in Child Custody and Support
While the warm weather has not yet faded into the chill of autumn, school is back in session for children throughout the country, including here in Kane County. Long days full of recreation, trips to amusement parks, camping adventures, and other outdoor activities have been replaced with books, assignments, notes, and an educational focus. The transition back into school mode can be challenging for virtually any child, but the situation is often even more complicated for a child of divorce. If you are divorced and your child is struggling with the change of season, there are some things that you and the other parent can do to help make things a little easier.
Talk
It should come as little surprise to see communication at the top of a list regarding how to help your child. You cannot know what to do or that anything even needs to be done unless and until you talk to your child and find out where he or she may be struggling. You should also take the time to speak with your child’s teachers and school administrators, both to keep them abreast of your child’s needs and to gain their valuable input into how to meet your child’s needs. Finally, do not be afraid to communicate with your child’s other parent. Regardless of your past relationship, you need to be a team now more than ever and to help prevent small problems in school from becoming big ones.
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Healthy Divorce Perspectives: Looking at Divorce Through the Right Lens
Posted on August 30, 2016 in Divorce
Approaching divorce with the right perspective is often much easier said than done, but when you are able to look at the end of your marriage through a positive lens, the outcome is generally healthier and less stressful for everyone involved. Grief and healing are processes that inevitably take time, but when you channel your energy into staying focused on new beginnings that will result from the separation, the road to peace and acceptance is less bumpy.
Here are three ways to help yourself develop a positive perspective on divorce:
1. Cut Your Losses
Whether it is material possessions, bank accounts, or impending vacation plans that you made with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, one way to create a positive spin on divorce is to let go and know when to throw in the towel. Money and possessions are often mediums that couples use to take out all of their frustration, hurt, and anger, as using these things as weapons gives them the power to affect their partner. Instead of adding fuel to the fire and contributing to the storm, choose to compromise when it comes to money and belongings or make the decision to walk away completely.
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Dating Again After Divorce
Posted on August 29, 2016 in Divorce
The months and even years after a divorce can be rough. You are redefining yourself as a single person after being one half of a couple. Depending on how long you were married, it has possibly been a long time since you dated. Soon after a divorce the prospect of finding a new partner or “getting back out there” may be daunting. It is important to realize that you do not have to start dating again until you are ready.
Mental health and relationship professionals agree that individuals should give themselves time to mourn the loss of their marriage just as they would mourn a physical loss. How will you know if you are ready? There are a few clues experts say to look for, including:
- You Stop Ruminating About the Past: There will never be a time that you forget about your ex-spouse completely but thinking of him or her less often is a sign that you are healing emotionally. In the immediate aftermath of a divorce you may be consumed with thoughts about your former partner, feeling emotions like anger, sadness, and disbelief. You may fantasize about how things could have been different in your relationship. Many people find that these feelings and thoughts diminish with time. Eventually, you will be ready to stop living in the past and instead live in the present and look forward to the future.
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How Child Support is Determined in Illinois (and Other Child Support Basics)
Posted on August 22, 2016 in Child Custody and Support
Even if they do not feel morally obligated to do so, parents of children have a legal obligation to provide financial support. This applies when a couple divorces, legally separates, or even if they were never married. If you are a parent in the state of Illinois about to go through a divorce or legal separation or have a child outside of marriage the following information can help you understand the basics of how this obligation to provide support may apply to your situation, and how it is determined.
Child Support in Divorce or Legal Separation
When two parents are married and then decide to divorce or legally separate, they must also go through several legal processes that involve the welfare of their child. These include the allocation of parental responsibilities, assignment of parenting time, and determination of child support. Of those, the child support determination is often the most straightforward. However, it can be just as filled with contention as other aspects of the divorce since child support may be – at least in part - determined in relation to the amount of parenting time each parent receives. Other factors that may be considered could include:
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The Dangers of Financial Infidelity
Posted on August 17, 2016 in Divorce
Financial infidelity can be devastating to a marriage. When a spouse lies about financial decisions or makes big decisions without consulting the other it not only takes an emotional toll but can also lead to serious financial hardship for the family in the future. A recent study released by the National Endowment for Financial Education showed that 31% of Americans have lied about money to their spouse, and financial concerns are among the leading causes for divorce around the country.
What Does Financial Infidelity Look Like?
Financial Infidelity can take many forms. If your spouse is being deceitful about money, you may notice that:
- Cash or valuable objects have gone missing;
- He or she opened credit cards and hid the receipts;
- Unexplained purchases have appeared in the house;
- He or she gets defensive or angry in response to questions about money
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Preparing for Divorce
Posted on August 15, 2016 in Divorce
There are many steps to complete when it comes ending your marriage. There is marital property to divide, assets to consider, retirement plans to change, credit cards to open, and bank accounts to close. If you have children, there are additional, and often more emotional considerations regarding custody, parenting plans, and visitation rights.
You may also have other things to consider—who will keep the family pet? When can the ex-spouse still visit with and carry on a relationship with in-laws? Is it possible to still share a group of friends? These are all considerations that will need to be made at the personal discretion of the divorcing couple. While a legal professional can help with concrete processes, of course, including financial decisions and property division, he or she will only be able to offer solicited advice when it comes to the more personal aspects of marital dissolution.
Filing for Divorce
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Does Where You File for Divorce Matter?
Posted on August 10, 2016 in Divorce
If you are thinking about filing for divorce, you probably realize that you will need to file your petition at the county courthouse. For many people, however, there are questions as to which county is appropriate. According to the law in Illinois, there are specific guidelines for choosing the right venue for your divorce, but you may have several options.
Basic Expectations
The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act provides that the proceedings for a divorce in Illinois should be held “in the county where the plaintiff or defendant resides.” If you and your spouse both live in Kane County, then your divorce, barring unusual circumstances, should take place in the circuit court of Kane County. If you live in Kane County but your spouse has moved to DuPage County, your divorce could be handled by the court of either county. In any case, a county court judge may direct your process to any other county in the state as needed.
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Struggling to Make Your Child Support Payments?
Posted on August 08, 2016 in Child Custody and Support
As a divorced, separated, or unmarried parent, you undoubtedly understand the importance of providing financial support for your child, particularly if you have not been granted primary residential parental responsibilities. Of course, there is much more to being a parent than paying child support, but when you are having trouble making your obligated payments, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take when meeting your obligations becomes impossible, and an experienced family lawyer can help.
Requesting a Modification
Child support orders in Illinois are generally based on the paying parent’s income and the number of children being supported. Therefore, if your income or ability to generate income changes substantially, you can request a modification to your support order. You will need to show that there has been a significant change in your circumstances, but if the court approves your request, your order can be amended to reflect your current situation.
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FTC Looking Into Cheating Site for Deceptive Practices
Posted on July 29, 2016 in Divorce
It seems that adultery is all around us. Movies and TV shows, celebrities, professional athletes, and politicians are constantly reminding us that cheating is a serious problem in American marriages. It is estimated that 30 to 60 percent of married people will have an extramarital affair at least once in the course of a marriage. The pain and heartache that comes from finding out that your spouse has been unfaithful to you can often be the beginning of the end of your marriage, and pave the way for a divorce.
The Age of the Internet Has Made Cheating Easier Than Ever
Sixty years ago, when Alfred Kinsey conducted his ground-breaking study on American’s relationships and sex lives, the definition of cheating was much clearer than it is today. Interactive websites where individuals can chat with others protected by distance and anonymity has blurred the line as to what counts as cheating. Does casually flirting through text messages or in a chat room count? Does sharing explicit pictures or videos but not meeting in real life constitute an affair?
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Three Factors Every Couple Should Consider Before Pursuing a Prenuptial Agreement
Posted on July 27, 2016 in Prenuptial and Postnuptial Agreements
When it comes to prenuptial agreements, the general opinion often seems to stem from the negative stigma that anyone who pursues such an agreement must not have much faith or trust in their future spouse. Although this may actually be the case for some individuals, in most cases, this stereotype could not be farther from the truth.
Prenuptial Agreements in Today’s World
Prenuptial agreements are extremely popular nowadays, for multiple reasons. Their popularity is not merely a reflection of the state of marriages in today’s society; prenups offer practical advantages that can benefit both partners equally. Broaching the topic with your future spouse can feel uncomfortable at first, but if you both share mutual interest in pursuing a prenuptial agreement, it can prove to be a valuable, effective tool as you enter your marriage.
Here are some factors to discuss if you are on the fence about signing:
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