Posted on January 25, 2013 in Divorce

We all strive to be unique individuals – to leave our mark on the world like no one else means so much. It can be through a career, sport, volunteering, marital status and or even being a parent. No one wants to be a number.

Marriage has always been about two people coming together and sharing a life together through children, spending time together, date nights, vacations, laughing and going through good and hard times together. Never does one think it will end.

Statistics speak volumes. In our country alone the U.S. Bureau of the Census reported there were 2.3 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces in 2005. About 9.9% of adults in the U.S. are divorced – meaning 20 million Americans have parted ways for differing reasons. When one sees a 50% divorce rate, it makes one think what is the point? Even after one failed marriage (40% fail), trying again and again does NOT improve your chances for success; even if you think you learned all the mistakes the first time around. Second marriages have a 60% rate of divorce and third marriages end 73% of the time! People still have hope though, as 75% do remarry.

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 Posted on January 22, 2013 in Child Custody and Support

The Washington Free Beacon is reporting that the military divorce rate decreased for the year 2012, falling to a rate of 3.5 percent. In 2011, the military divorce rate, based on Pentagon statistics, was 3.7 percent.

The highest rates of military divorce continue to involve Marines and enlisted female soldiers. Marines had a 9.4 percent divorce rate in 2012 and enlisted women had a 9.3 percent divorce rate. Additionally, female Army members continue to have a divorce rate that is roughly triple the rate of enlisted male Army members. Nonetheless, these figures still represent a slight decrease from the 2011 statistics concerning these groups of service members.

One expert stated that because there are currently fewer military conflicts and deployments, military families are experiencing less stress and, as a result, fewer divorces. However, he also attributed the decrease to potential upswings in the economy, which may make life easier for military families overall, at least in a financial sense.

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 Posted on January 19, 2013 in Divorce

In a recent article, Mt. Vernon Register-News states that neglect or abuse contributed to the deaths of 90 children in 2012, not including 60 recently reported deaths still under investigation.

Child deaths due to abuse and/or neglect occurred in all parts of the state equally, including Chicago, the suburbs, and downstate Illinois, according to a report by the Illinois Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS).

Almost half of these deaths were due to suffocation caused by unsafe sleeping conditions, reports state.

“Most deaths occurred when parents, ignoring the advice of the American Academy of Pediatrics and safety experts, slept with a newborn or infant in their bed, rolling over on the child in the night and smothering her or him,” the report from DCFS states. “In other instances, parents ignored safety warnings and allowed a newborn or infant to sleep with a blanket, on an adult mattress or couch, or on their stomachs, suffocating the child. Although the deaths might have been accidental, Illinois law holds parents and other caretakers accountable for creating a substantial risk of injury to a child, and DCFS indicates perpetrators for neglect.”

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 Posted on January 16, 2013 in Divorce

According to this article from the Chicago Tribune, kids with divorced parents—even when the divorce is amicable—are less likely to be religious later in life.

This study shows that churches will have to take some new and drastic steps in addressing this lapse when trying to find potential leaders in the next generation. Some theories have been formed in regards to this problem; Elizabeth Marquardt, an American studies professor at Lake Forest College, says many current adults that went through this didn’t feel understood by their church at the time. Marquardt herself is the daughter of divorced parents. She states in the article that she hopes Protestant churches can use this data to help with their future.

Many religious institutions do not have set guidelines when it comes to dealing with divorce, especially if the divorce involves children. A pastor of Chicago’s Fourth Presbyterian, Rev. Joyce Shin, says that she will try to reach out to the parents as well as understand what the child needs during this time—but it’s difficult. “We know there are trusts that are being broken and that were broken, and it's going to take a lot to build up from that,” Shin says, acknowledging that it’s a hard time in anyone’s life.

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 Posted on January 13, 2013 in Domestic Violence

Milton Bradley, 34, has been charged with abusing his estranged wife on January 11, according to this article from ABC news.

Bradley, a former Chicago Cubs outfielder, faces 13 misdemeanor counts of assault with a deadly weapon, vandalism and dissuading a witness from making a report. He could receive up to 13 years in prison and $13,000 in fines and restitution if convicted.

There have been other instances of domestic disturbance between Bradley and his wife. In 2011 and 2012, prosecutors say he threatened his wife five times—and was arrested twice in 2011. Although the wife has given details of certain encounters, Bradley maintains that she’s lying about the alleged abuse. He told his lawyer that “she's making up stories. I don't know what she's talking about.” Some of the allegations include Bradley kicking his wife in the ribs, threatening her with a knife, and choking her after she asked that he not smoke marijuana in front of their two kids. Currently, the two are in the middle of a contentious divorce.

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 Posted on January 09, 2013 in Divorce

Recently, various hospitals, health departments, a community college, and an extended living center all received “Award for Excellence” plaques for addressing domestic violence and sexual abuse as public issues, according to a recent article published by the Illinois Valley News Tribune.

Illinois Health Cares, a state-wide health initiative aiming to decrease domestic violence and sexual assault, presented the awards.  One of the coordinators of a domestic violence and sexual assault service, Christine Chalkey, stated that “Every hospital across the three counties realizes the importance of working together to end violence and should be commended for their collaborative efforts to educate and bring awareness to employees, patients and the public about the bad health effects caused by exposure to violence.”

Chalkey’s program, officially named IHC, works with hospitals and health care professionals to educate the public about the health dangers of domestic violence, sexual assault, and even elder abuse.  Each year more than $ 4 billion is spent for medical care to treat the effects of said domestic violence, sexual assault, and elder abuse.  This fact is one of the driving factors of IHC’s efforts to educate health care professionals, who, in turn, educate the public.

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 Posted on January 06, 2013 in Family Law

When going through a divorce, people have to make important financial decisions while experiencing a lot of emotional stress at the same time.  This can lead to a lot of mistakes that often times come back to haunt them later on in life.  According to EIN News, one of the largest contributors to financial problems after divorce is simply a lack of information.  More often than not, only one spouse in a marriage is responsible for financial matters.  Because of this, the other spouse is often not very practiced in making financial decisions, and could potentially be taken advantage of when making negotiations.  This can easily be avoided by making sure both parties are aware of the couple’s financial status and sharing responsibilities when it comes to real estate, retirement accounts and pensions, stocks, or vehicles, among others.

Another serious mistake that is often made during a divorce is not budgeting.  In a typical marriage, both the husband and the wife are accustomed to living off of the salaries of two people.  When they make the split, they must change their lifestyles to accommodate the new restrictions and lower income. This involves a lot of budgeting and cutting back, which sometimes people forget to consider and carry out.

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 Posted on January 03, 2013 in Divorce

In 2011, studies through Divorce-Online discovered that Facebook was named third in divorce filings. Social media has made it simple to find old flames from a person’s past, especially Facebook. Just one simple task of typing in someone’s name can lead to a link into their social world, which can sometimes cause harm to marriages. Social media has become the primary source of communication, even surpassing texting and emails. So if someone wants to have an affair Facebook is the place to do so, according to Divorce-Online.

U.S. divorce attorneys have found more and more people filing for divorce because of Facebook. The authors of “Facebook and Your Marriage,” state that the site can cause harm to what would be a happy marriage. They also go on to say that people are more upfront when they aren’t face to face with the actual person. Normally, when a person is having a conversation on the computer they don’t use their common sense before sending the message. They feed off of the rush of the mental affair, which encourages them further.

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 Posted on December 30, 2012 in Divorce

Dealing with divorce is a family affair. Sometimes it becomes too much of a discussion among family members. Chicago Now reports several ways to deal with questions regarding the pending divorce proceedings.

It never fails that someone will ask how the divorce is going. It is important to remember to always keep it positive. Give a short answer letting them know that it is going great and couldn’t be better despite the circumstances. If they continue to poke, there is no shame in letting them know that you do not want to talk about during a time of celebration. It is also important to only discuss the divorce with your attorney.

There is always someone that is going to be there with tons of advice on how to deal with the situation. Depending on how you feel about the giver of the advice, it is up to you whether you are going to take heed to the advice. Again, there is a time and a place. Let them know that you are doing fine and that you will give them a call later if you need them. It is up to you whether you actually make the call or not.

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 Posted on December 27, 2012 in Child Custody and Support

Of all the cases presented to be heard by the United States Supreme Court, only 1 percent of them are actually chosen. It is extremely rare to find a child custody case in the chosen few. But just recently, the Court heard oral arguments in the case, Chafin v. Chafin, 11-1347.

The case is an international custody dispute involving the five year old daughter of Army Sgt. 1st Class Jeffrey Lee Chafin, an American citizen, and the child’s mother, who is Scottish. The little girl was born in Germany with dual United States and United Kingdom citizenship. When Sgt. Chafin was deployed to Afghanistan, his wife took their daughter and moved to Scotland, establishing a residence there. When Chafin was transferred to Alabama, the family reunited and resided in Alabama.

Shortly after the reunion, marital problems arose and Chafin’s wife filed with the federal district court to return with their child to Scotland. She successfully argued that the child’s habitual residence was Scotland, and pursuant to The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, she was able to secure an order by the court. Chafin filed a motion to stay, which was denied, and his wife took their child and moved to Scotland, where she quickly filed for Scottish custody proceedings, which, fourteen months later, are still pending.

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