Recent Blog Posts
Domestic Violence Increases on Super Bowl Sunday?
There’s a long-standing myth that domestic violence rates increase on Super Bowl Sunday, but according to a recent US News and World Report article, this is just an urban legend. According to Cindy Southworth, vice president of development and innovation at the National Network to End Domestic Violence “the Super Bowl does not cause domestic violence, and it doesn’t increase domestic violence, but it does increase the public’s awareness of the issue, which will help victims learn about help and resources.” The only perceivable football link is when high-profile players are accused (justly or not) of abusing or killing their partners, as with the Kansas City Chief’s Jovan Belcher who in December killed his girlfriend and then committed suicide.
In addition to the Super Bowl buzz, there’s also been increased media attention to the issue because of the reintroduction of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) in the Senate. Last year the bill was blocked by House Republicans, “who balked at expanded assistance for gays and lesbians, Native Americans, and undocumented immigrants,” according to US News and World Report. According to the White House, the VAWA, when originally passed in 1994, both improved the criminal justice response to violence against women and ensured that victims and their families have access to the services they need. The White House reports that between 1993 and 2010, “the rate of intimate partner violence declined 67 percent.”
Dating A Divorcee Isn’t Necessarily A Bad Thing
In this day and age, with divorce rates hovering between 30 and 50 percent, it might be harder than you think to find someone who hasn’t once been married. However, just because someone has an ex-husband or wife lurking in their past, doesn’t mean they’re not dateable.
This article from the Chicago Times helps explain the steps you should take if you’re thinking about dating someone who’s been divorced.
For someone who has only been divorced once or twice, psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz says you should talk with them to learn why the marriages ended, if they picked up any insight about themselves, and how their relationships currently stand with their exes.
If your date has been married and divorced multiple times, you may want to dig a bit deeper. Studies have shown that people who marry multiple times may have personality traits or issues that cause difficulties in maintaining a fulfilling and lasting relationship. These people may do wonderfully in short-term, casual dating, but have problems with choosing a suitable mate for the long run.
Former Wife of Former Peregrine CEO sued over Divorce Money
Russell Wasendorf used to be the CEO of the Peregrine Financial Company, based in Cedar Falls, Iowa. He was arrested for scamming over 24,000 customers for over 20 years for around $215 million. He wasn't caught by regulators until he left a suicide note admitting to his crimes but managed to live through his suicide attempt. He was sentenced to 50 years in prison for embezzlement on January 31st.
The money went to various extravagant purchases such as a private plane and a luxury Chicago apartment. He also used the money to try to keep his failing business afloat while opening a $24 million office in Cedar Falls. Recently, it was found that some of the money was used to divorce his wife of 24 years, Connie Wasendorf.
The divorce was finalized on December 30, 2010. A day later, Wasendorf transferred almost $2.5 million dollars from a company account into his ex-wife’s account. Wasendorf also paid his wife $20,000 a month for over a year from the company’s account even though she did very little to earn it.
A New Concept for Children of Divorce
When parents divorce, they usually both own their own home and the kids are shuffled back and forth between the two, depending on the parents' custody rights. But recently, some parents are having to come to the children, instead of moving the children around. The children stay at the house that they were in before the divorce, and then the parents switch off coming to them. Parents who do not want to interrupt their children’s everyday lives are trying out this new concept.
One family's situation was set up so that one spouse would live in the house for a week and the other one would go to a motel or another place to stay, according to the Chicago Tribune. The family has been living like this for about 7 months and says that it is very difficult but that they would like to continue it until their son goes to college.
This form of custody has a term called, “birdnesting,” because the kids stay in the nest while the parents come and go from it. Just like a bird would do. Although birdnesting is not an entirely new concept, it is becoming more practiced by parents in recent years. Many divorce attorneys are seeing it become more popular. Some courts will even suggest it, if the parents are having custody battles. In some cases, the whole family stays in the house but the parents reside in separate bedrooms.
6 Essential Topics for Co-Parenting a Teenager
When raising kids, it is important to think about the long term, like when they will be teenagers. Unfortunately, if you are going through a divorce, you may have to think about this milestone earlier than you thought. It is important to set up a co-parenting agreement that reflects how you want your children being raised when you are not around. For teenagers, there are six major concerns which should be covered in the agreement.
1. Driving. If you can provide a car to your children, it is important to allow them to use it at either parent’s house. Don’t make the vehicle exclusive to one parent’s home to keep a child from seeing their other parent.
2. Employment. It is important to agree about whether you will want your teenager to have a job. Especially as a way to pay for car insurance, get work experience and have allowance for going out with friends.
How Divorce Affects Women
Women are adversely affected by divorce in a more powerful and negative way then men when in regards to personal, emotional and financial well-being. As much as women have grown in rights and power, divorce still takes a huge toll on women – so much so, some advocates want to make it more difficult for divorce to occur in order to protect women.
Laws have made it easier to get divorced with the “No Fault” concept; where parties do not have to claim a reason for the divorce. This has made it not only easier for men to get a divorce, move on and not have many consequences but it has also left women, in general, with more responsibilities and stress. 90% of single parent homes are women led because a lot of times women get the full custody of the children. This is a huge financial stressor and can cause much emotional toil. It doesn’t help that women still get paid less than men for equal jobs. Being divorced and outside of the marriage creates a harder environment for a woman to provide for herself and her children.
Illinois Divorce Statistics
We all strive to be unique individuals – to leave our mark on the world like no one else means so much. It can be through a career, sport, volunteering, marital status and or even being a parent. No one wants to be a number.
Marriage has always been about two people coming together and sharing a life together through children, spending time together, date nights, vacations, laughing and going through good and hard times together. Never does one think it will end.
Statistics speak volumes. In our country alone the U.S. Bureau of the Census reported there were 2.3 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces in 2005. About 9.9% of adults in the U.S. are divorced – meaning 20 million Americans have parted ways for differing reasons. When one sees a 50% divorce rate, it makes one think what is the point? Even after one failed marriage (40% fail), trying again and again does NOT improve your chances for success; even if you think you learned all the mistakes the first time around. Second marriages have a 60% rate of divorce and third marriages end 73% of the time! People still have hope though, as 75% do remarry.
2012 Pentagon Statistics Show Drop in Military Divorce Rate
The Washington Free Beacon is reporting that the military divorce rate decreased for the year 2012, falling to a rate of 3.5 percent. In 2011, the military divorce rate, based on Pentagon statistics, was 3.7 percent.
The highest rates of military divorce continue to involve Marines and enlisted female soldiers. Marines had a 9.4 percent divorce rate in 2012 and enlisted women had a 9.3 percent divorce rate. Additionally, female Army members continue to have a divorce rate that is roughly triple the rate of enlisted male Army members. Nonetheless, these figures still represent a slight decrease from the 2011 statistics concerning these groups of service members.
One expert stated that because there are currently fewer military conflicts and deployments, military families are experiencing less stress and, as a result, fewer divorces. However, he also attributed the decrease to potential upswings in the economy, which may make life easier for military families overall, at least in a financial sense.
Increase in Child Abuse in Illinois- 2012 Statistics Show
In a recent article, Mt. Vernon Register-News states that neglect or abuse contributed to the deaths of 90 children in 2012, not including 60 recently reported deaths still under investigation.
Child deaths due to abuse and/or neglect occurred in all parts of the state equally, including Chicago, the suburbs, and downstate Illinois, according to a report by the Illinois Department of Child and Family Services (DCFS).
Almost half of these deaths were due to suffocation caused by unsafe sleeping conditions, reports state.
“Most deaths occurred when parents, ignoring the advice of the American Academy of Pediatrics and safety experts, slept with a newborn or infant in their bed, rolling over on the child in the night and smothering her or him,” the report from DCFS states. “In other instances, parents ignored safety warnings and allowed a newborn or infant to sleep with a blanket, on an adult mattress or couch, or on their stomachs, suffocating the child. Although the deaths might have been accidental, Illinois law holds parents and other caretakers accountable for creating a substantial risk of injury to a child, and DCFS indicates perpetrators for neglect.”
Religion More Likely In Children of Married Couples
According to this article from the Chicago Tribune, kids with divorced parents—even when the divorce is amicable—are less likely to be religious later in life.
This study shows that churches will have to take some new and drastic steps in addressing this lapse when trying to find potential leaders in the next generation. Some theories have been formed in regards to this problem; Elizabeth Marquardt, an American studies professor at Lake Forest College, says many current adults that went through this didn’t feel understood by their church at the time. Marquardt herself is the daughter of divorced parents. She states in the article that she hopes Protestant churches can use this data to help with their future.
Many religious institutions do not have set guidelines when it comes to dealing with divorce, especially if the divorce involves children. A pastor of Chicago’s Fourth Presbyterian, Rev. Joyce Shin, says that she will try to reach out to the parents as well as understand what the child needs during this time—but it’s difficult. “We know there are trusts that are being broken and that were broken, and it's going to take a lot to build up from that,” Shin says, acknowledging that it’s a hard time in anyone’s life.
