Posted on December 18, 2013 in Family Law

So-called gray divorce is more and more common as the boomer generation moves into retirement age. With more women being financially independent than ever before and equitable distribution laws now in place in just about every state—including Illinois—the possibility of divorcing later in life is more available than ever. The ease with which an older couple can divorce, however, doesn’t explain why a couple of decades would decide to suddenly call it quits. The Huffington Post has identified reasons that many couples turn to divorce even after decades of marriage.

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 Posted on December 14, 2013 in Divorce

On November 5, 2013, Illinois became the 15th state to legalize same-sex marriage as both the House and Senate passed the Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act.  These are indeed exciting times for supporters, and it appears that equality for all is truly the mantra of this new generation.  Those pushing for a change in the law often referenced what the Declaration of Independence so aptly espoused, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

With that change, however, come new challenges and the inevitability that even a same-sex marriage may not work out like the couple had hoped.  Enter the very real possibility that there will be a growing market-place for same-sex divorce.

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 Posted on December 11, 2013 in Divorce

The American media and the ease with which current events are disseminated has left everyone with a news outlet capable of hearing stories about their favorite celebrities’ trips to rehab for substance abuse.  With the recent revelations that Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoked crack cocaine, comedian Artie Lange’s substance abuse and suicide attempts, Josh Brolin’s recent drunken bar brawl and subsequent swearing off of liquor,  ABC’s Elizabeth Vargas being treated for alcohol dependence, and ‘Glee’ star Cory Monteith’s death from an overdose, it’s clear that substance abuse is a very real and dangerous thing.

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 Posted on December 06, 2013 in Family Law

Divorce rates in the U.S. are consistently reported as close to 50 percent. This means that if you’re above the average marrying age of first marriage (which, while it’s continued to increase, is still solidly mid-20s), you’re likely to date someone who’s already been married and divorced as well. “Odds are pretty good that anyone on the dating scene is dancing, dining, and movie-going with someone who has been divorced, and more than once,” according to the Chicago Tribune. While most relationship experts, reports the Tribune, don’t see a problem with this, it’s important to keep in mind what you want from the relationship and where you see it going.

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 Posted on December 03, 2013 in Family Law

Research from the U.K. recently found that “warring couples are only half as likely to cite adultery as the cause of marriage breakdown than they were 40 years ago,” according to The Guardian. Bad behavior, especially that which is considered unreasonable, was the leading reason for divorce—47 percent of people surveyed in the recent study. In the 1970s, what was considered unreasonable behavior accounted for only 28 percent of all divorces. “Examples of unreasonable behavior,” according to The Guardian, “include an unsociable husband making his wife feel guilty when she wanted to go out with her friends; a cross-dressing husband who decided to have a sex change; and a spouse withdrawing all the family savings.”

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 Posted on November 29, 2013 in Divorce

Filing for divorce can be an emotionally and mentally draining experience. The act of filing for divorce can bring up a lot of turbulent emotions in both parties. Especially contentious divorces have the added stress of placing a financial drain on the two parties as well. If you are considering filing for divorce in Illinois, avoiding these mistakes can help ensure the process goes as smoothly as possible.

Mistake #1 – Viewing your spouse as the enemy.

Even if you are filing for divorce now, you once loved each other enough to vow to spend your lives together. Try to keep that in mind throughout the process when things are getting emotional and intense. If the two of you have children together, you will likely still have to be able to communicate on a regular basis, and it is best to remain civil.

Mistake #2 – Losing sight of family.

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 Posted on November 27, 2013 in Divorce

Former Chicago Board of Trade Chairman Patrick Arbor has allegedly fled the country after being ordered to pay his wife tens of thousands of dollars in temporary support during their divorce proceedings, according to the Chicago Tribune.

The couple filed for divorce last year, and the process has been quite contentious. Arbor’s Chicago divorce lawyers say they do not know where he is, and Arbor has failed to appear in court for months. Frustrated with Arbor’s actions, Judge Thomas Kelly finalized the divorce in early October, awarding Arbor’s ex-wife Antoinette Vigilante $18 million.  He also ordered that Arbor be taken into custody and jailed until he pays an additional $289,000 in overdue spousal support.

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 Posted on November 22, 2013 in Family Law

In addition to the emotional stress and trauma that comes with divorce—the long proceedings, the arguments, the expense—there may be another downside, at least according to HealthDay News and reported by US News and World Report. Divorce may carry “a higher chance of meeting up with a fatal accident,” according to US News and World Report, which also holds true for “people with low levels of education.”

The research was conducted by tracking data “from 1.3 million Americans aged 18 and older who survived or died in accidents between 1986 and 2006. Divorced people were two times more likely than married people to die from the most-preventable causes of accidental death—hazards such as fire or poisoning.” It could be marriage itself that keeps the rates of accidental deaths low—single people who were tracked by the study had rates of accidental death similar to their divorced counterparts.

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 Posted on November 19, 2013 in Family Law

While there are many reasons that the divorce rate in modern society is high, one factor has remained constant throughout the modern age: infidelity. Infidelity may no longer be the number one reason for divorce—recent studies point to financial arguments and arguing in general as contributing to more divorces than infidelity—but it’s still a force to be reckoned with in many marriages. According to InfidelityFacts.com, 41 percent of people polled admit to marital infidelity, either emotional or physical. The percentage is slightly higher for men than for women: 57 percent of men “admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had,” compared to 54 percent of women. The average length of an affair, reports InfidelityFacts.com, is two years, which is likely the magic number for how long an affair can be conducted without the other spouse finding out about it. Not all infidelity is committed over a long period of time, however. More than 35 percent of men and women polled say that they cheat while on a business trip—which is more likely to have been a one-time event.

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 Posted on November 14, 2013 in Divorce

An article in the publication the Daily Mail recently asked, “Do trial separations work?”  Many couples who are experiencing troubles in their marriage opt for a separation to see if they can work through the issues. The hoped-for goal for some couples is to work through the issues and repair the marriage. For other couples, the time apart from their spouse helps them to decide if divorce is really the choice they want. However, many legal experts say that filing for divorce is the most common result of trial separations.

There are a variety of reasons that spouses decide to separate. Frequently, major life events can trigger a separation. A birth of a child is a major life changer for many couples.  If one spouse becomes the primary caretaker, resentments can build up on both sides. The spouse who is staying home may begin to resent giving up their career; the spouse who is out working may resent being the pressure of being the primary breadwinner.

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