birth certificate, child custody matters, Geneva family law attorney, marriage certificate, child birthYears ago, it was considered a scandal if a woman had a child out of wedlock. But today, this is no longer the case. Couples are now making the decision to fill out a birth certificate before they fill out a marriage certificate. And for parents who have a child before marriage, there may be emotional and legal issues to consider.

A recent study discovered that couples, who eventually plan to get married, are better off making that move before their child turns three years old. This helps a child to form the strongest bonds possible with both parents.

The study was performed by researchers from Duke University, who examined information from 5,200 children who were born to unmarried parents. Titled, “Magic Moment? Maternal Marriage in Children Born out of Wedlock,” the study suggests that the “magic moment” parents feel right after a baby is born actually lasts longer than prior research held it did. This magic moment is what researchers refer to as the time that an unwed couple would be more open to the idea of marriage.

child custody, child custody battle, child custody fears, children of divorce, effects of divorce, Geneva divorce attorneyGoing through a divorce is emotionally draining. In many ways, it is like a death that has to be mourned. A contentious divorce can be especially stressful with both legal and personal wrangling over finances and property. Most parents would agree, however, that nothing is more emotionally trying than being involved in a child custody battle with a spouse. It not only causes stress and anger, but also fear of losing a child.

However, if you are involved in a child custody battle, there are steps you can take to help alleviate those fears and minimize the damage to your family’s quality of life.

Steps to Alleviate Your Fears in a Child Custody Battle

children of divorce, Geneva family law attorney, helping children adjust to divorce, marital problems, emotional support, divorce your spouse, divorce adviceParents ultimately want what is best for their children and strive to provide that for them. Unfortunately, when it comes to divorce, emotions can influence decisions and cloud judgments. Additionally, children are the ones who end up suffering the most when this happens.

A family goes through several changes during and after a divorce, and it is important to remember the toll these changes can take on children. Anger, guilt, confusion, and fear are often felt by children of divorce. However, there are steps parents can take to help children acclimate to a new family situation and adjust to all of these changes.

It is important for parents to realize that they are no longer one family unit and their children's perceptions of who they are and where their place is in the family, may be broken. Children need assurances and reassurances of how important they are and that they are still both parents’ number one priority.

child custody arrangement, child custody disputes, child custody issues, children of divorce, Geneva family law attorney, just say no, divorce and disagreementWhen a couple makes the decision to divorce, it often comes after months—or sometimes years—of anger, fighting and disagreements. After living in that type of negative and acrimonious environment, many people are anxious to just get the whole divorce over with in order to move on with their lives.

However, as healthy as it may be to let go of all the anger and negativity, it is also important to not be too quick to agree to things that may not be in your best interest financially when it comes to your divorce.

Financial advisers suggest several areas where you should never agree, and just say no, regardless of how angry your soon-to-be ex-spouse may get over your “uncooperative” attitude. Additionally, it is acceptable to vocalize your disagreement involving child custody arrangements. If your spouse is pushing for an arrangement that you feel is unworkable, or is not in the best interests of your child, do not agree with it. This can be especially true in situations where a spouse insists on shared custody, yet travels a great deal for work. He or she may be putting too much focus on “winning” and not enough focus on what is really a workable arrangement for everyone. Share your objections with your attorney and let him or her negotiate a better solution.

co-parenting, Geneva family law attorney, new school year, divorce and school vacations, children of divorce, divorced couples, school communication, child custody battle, child custody disputesThe dog days of summer are winding down and that means back to school is right around the corner. The school year often involves a spike in activities and obligations for children, including team sport participations, music lessons, and other events that can put a strain on working parent schedules. For divorced couples who are co-parenting, school year commitments can strain an already stressful relationship. And even more disturbing is the effect all this has on the child.

Planning ahead before the school year actually begins can help alleviate some of that stress. Before school starts, take a copy of the school calendar, usually found right on the school district's website, and sit down with your ex-spouse to plan out the school year. Having plans in place ahead of time for school vacations, holidays, early release days, and weekends allows each parent to plan ahead and also helps decrease the chances of misunderstandings.

Unfortunately, there are many co-parents who have a difficult time communicating and interacting with each other, even when it comes to issues about their children. If this describes your situation, then there are several factors to keep in mind in order to ensure the least amount of stress for your child.

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